The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#229: Penises - does size really matter?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, March 31, 2018


Penises come in all shapes and sizes, and all with the same intention in mind – to have great sex. But with all the variation, which penises are the most effective, and does size really matter?

To stimulate the vagina a penis needs to touch the sides, so girth is an important factor. Some penises are thick enough to fill most women, some are too thick for comfort, and a large proportion need deft handling to reach the good spots - not being thick enough to fill all around (although that also depends on the size of the vagina in question - there’s considerable variation in capacity and muscle tautness there too).

But never fear, if your girth is less than ideal, it’s more about how you wield your member than its size. So here are some tips for guys of all sizes:

Prove your skills as a lover before she gets to see your member. She’ll already be impressed and size won’t be a big issue. She’ll also be good and aroused, and a well-aroused vagina is a responsive vagina, so her muscles are more likely to naturally clamp around your penis, increasing sensation.

Your advantage in the penile size stakes is that you can move around a lot and get to the good areas. So add rotating, screwing motions to your thrusts, particularly when you’re on top so that you’re stimulating all around her vagina and her clitoral area at the same time. (Another bonus – you get the best blowjobs because she can do so much more with your more manageable size!)

No surprises here. Your partner is not going to get distracted by the size or otherwise of your member and neither are you, you’ve got no need to feel either worried or smug about what‘s on offer. You can try any position, any way you like it. So get creative!

For you and your more modestly sized brothers, you can get in deeper by getting your pelvis in as close as possible, so you want her legs as far apart as she can. She can hold them or you can. With you kneeling and her on her back, you can lift up her legs, hook them over your arms and get in good and deep. From behind is another good position if her bottom is up high and her chest down low. Her on top is also good as she can move herself around and sink down good and deep. Avoid standing poses.

There’s no denying it, you’ve definitely got the advantage here. But avoid complacency! While the sight of your impressive member might make a girl swoon in anticipation, if that’s all you’ve got on offer your sex might get dull after a while. Yes, it fills a girl up nicely while still having the finesse to move around and get to the good bits inside. But it’s not all about the penis. Make sure you develop your all-round skills as a lover.

Blessed / Cursed
You’d get hired on a porn set in an instant, but the reality is that your massive member is more likely to make a girl faint with shock than swoon with pleasure! Unfortunately a very large penis doesn’t always feel great, it can hurt on entry and can make the girl feel simply stuffed, without the subtlety of sensation she gets from smaller penises - kind of like using a bulldozer to do a bobcat’s work.

So the advice is quite similar to that of your modestly hung brothers – prove your skills as a lover before she gets to your member, so that she’s already turned on and interested, and therefore less likely to turn tail and run! Make sure she’s well aroused and well lubricated before you enter. Take it slowly, let her guide the initial depth and speed. You’re going to have to be a true gentleman of a lover, chivalrous and gentle, and she’s going to love that!


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