The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!

#51: How to Master the Art of Vaginal Stimulation

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, April 23, 2012

Once you’ve navigated your partner’s vagina and got to know the G, A and Ohh Spots a little better let’s look at how you can stimulate all those good spots for maximum effect.

 Before you get anywhere near her genitals though, make sure your partner is well and truly aroused and wanting your fingers to enter.

Remember, it’s about invitation not penetration!

The G-Spot:

Insert a finger, run it along the corrugated ridge that’s her urethral sponge until you get to the end, hook your finger on the edge and pull back towards her vaginal opening. A tickling type movement might be enough or you may need to be quite firm. Try it with one finger initially and then try it with two, either pulling with both fingers together, or waggling your fingers so they alternate stroking that point. You can also try rubbing around or stroking across the spot.

She may find the sensation unpleasant initially, with an urge to pee, in which case ask her to relax and have a sense of pushing out with her vaginal muscles. Build up to this though, try a few pulls then relax, a few more. Don’t expect her to love it in the first session, or even the first few sessions. It might even be that she’ll never like the G-Spot, but she might, so that’s no reason not to try.

The A-Spot:

My personal favorite! Straighten your finger and push directly in and up (I like it a little to my left) on to the vaginal wall on the tummy side of the cervix. You can poke in really quite firmly there. Try two fingers as well as one. Again, you can also rub or stroke the area, side to side or round and round, or you can waggle your fingers so they’re tickling gently or prodding quite firmly. Try it with your fingers together and slightly apart.

Again, it may take some time for her to get used to the sensation, it can be pretty overwhelming and intense initially. Always err on the side of caution and start gently, building up in intensity.

The Cervix:

On our way to stimulating the O-spot I have to mention stimulating the cervix. You need to go around the cervix to find the O-spot on the other side. So while you’re there, go around and around the cervix a few times with one or two fingers and see how she likes that!

The O-Spot:

Directly opposite the A-spot on the rear side of the vagina behind the cervix on the vaginal wall is the O-spot - or O-region really. There’s an open cul-de-sac type of space and you can stimulate the whole area with circular rubs, back and forth strokes, rhythmic pushes, and little waggling tickle-like movements. You can also do circular movements around and around between the back of the cervix (so you’re stroking the cervix itself) and the O-region of the vaginal wall.

Multi-spot Stimulation:

Once you’ve got the hang of focusing on specific spots or areas, you can put it all together. By inserting two or three fingers simultaneously you can:

1. Swirl your fingers around and around the vagina at different depths:

  • Firstly just a knuckle-depth or so in, so you’re stimulating the urethral sponge (the corrugated ridge), with a bit of a tug on the G-spot as you go past the end.
  • Then do the swirl deeper in so you’re going around the cervix, either with the pressure onto the cervix, or with the pressure onto the vaginal walls, and therefore onto the A and O areas, or alternating the direction of the pressure (continued pressure on the cervix can become too much).

2. Waggle your fingers: Do an alternate “come hither” tugging-type movement with two fingers from the A-spot to the G-spot along the front wall of her vagina.

  • Waggle your fingers alternately up and down at different depths and with your fingers different distances apart.
  • Turn your hand to the side and waggle your fingers side to side across the vagina at different depths.
  • Waggle your fingers together, apart or together, as though you’re “scratching” the walls of the vagina. Start with your hand facing towards her back, then start rotating your hand, moving in and out so you’re “scratching” up and down and all around her vagina.

 3. Swirl and waggle simultaneously.

4. Add some rubs and strokes and prods or pulses with your fingertips as you swirl and waggle.


Does all that sound a bit complicated? Then build up to it. Pay attention to where you’re touching and what you’re doing, and her reaction to it. Make sure you’re following her response. Every vagina is different and every woman is different, and every woman and her vagina responds differently at different times. So the Master of Manual Stimulation knows that he can’t assume a particular technique will always work. He has to be very attuned to the woman.

The Master Stroke: Add the clitoris

Now, to be a true Master of Manual Stimulation, you need to add the other hand and stimulate her clitoris on the outside. With one hand on the inside working all those lovely vaginal spots, your other hand will be stimulating her clitoris.

To build up to this level of skill, alternate internal and external, either with the same hand or alternate hands. You need to be competent with the individual hands to be able to bring the two together.

 When you’ve got both hands going it really is like playing your partner like a musical instrument. And just as a Master Musician is completely at one with his instrument, so do you need to be at one with your partner. Then the “music” you create will be sublime.

To learn more about mastering sex, enrol in my online sexual mastery course for men Black Belt in the Bedroom!


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