How do you describe the act of intercourse? Do you call it ‘penetrative sex’? If you do, which wouldn’t be surprising as it’s such a common term, have
you ever thought about what the word actually means and symbolises?
Penetration means ‘breaking through resistance’. Which might have applied to sex in the bad old days when a wife was supposed to just submit to her
husband whether she wanted to or not, so it may well have been an act of breaking through resistance. But now, in 2020, do we really want to think
of sex as an aggressive act?
Worse still, the term ‘penetrative sex’ gives agency to the ‘penetrator’ - the man - who does it to a resistant, or at least passive, recipient –
the woman.
Is this really the concept of intercourse we want to be perpetrating these days – that it’s something done to a woman by a man? Of course
not, yet we still use the term.
The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!
#295: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
#295: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
Download Audio: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
read more#293: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
After a couple of really full and busy years, I had hoped 2020 would be slower-paced, but I wasn’t expecting it to be like this! With the bushfires
at the start of the year there was no annual beach holiday to refresh and recuperate, so I thought a ‘stay-cation’ would be good as I could potter
at home and get the house and garden looking good (when it wasn’t too smoky to go outside that is). And…I’m still pottering at home. The house
and garden are looking amazing! I am fortunate than I can still get out of the house go to my clinic to see clients, mostly online.
It is interesting to see how clients are reacting to the pandemic restrictions. There are couples who are finding that spending more time together
is solving their problems as what they mostly needed was more downtime together. Others are finding the forced time together is highlighting and exacerbating
existing problems, bringing their troubles to the fore and forcing them to address them. Some single clients are withdrawing from the world while others
are reaching out and finding that the longer ‘dating’ required at this time means they are forming better quality connections.
For me, at the start of the pandemic,... read more
#293: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
Download Audio: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
read more#288: Love in the Time of COVID-19
Download Audio: Love in the Time of COVID-19
read more#286: Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
Download Audio: Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
read more#280: Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine
Download Audio: Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine
read more#277: Q&A: How Do I Flex My New Found Interest in Sex?
Download Audio: Q&A: How Do I Flex My New Found Interest in Sex?
read more#275: Q&A: Fun in the Sun - How to Have Safe Holiday Sex
Download Audio: Q&A: Fun in the Sun - How to Have Safe Holiday Sex
read more#274: Bake Your Cake Before You Ice It - the foundation of great sex
I love using food metaphors when educating and inspiring people around sexuality. We understand the variety, the flavours, the processes and ingredients – from simple to complex
- when it comes to food. So, it is with sex too.
One of my most important food analogies is that great sex is non-linear, more like a picnic than a three-course meal.
More recently I wrote about ‘relationship vitamins’, all the little
things that are needed to make a relationship strong and healthy and sexy.
Today I’d like to use the metaphor of a cake and icing (frosting for my North American readers). Icing is sweet and delicious, but
on its own, it’s too sweet and is sickly rather than tasty. Icing is only good when it’s on a cake. When you have a delicious cake, and then you ice
it – mmm, yummy scrummy!
I’ve developed a model, the... read more
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