The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!


#255: Own the Crone

Jacqueline Hellyer - Wednesday, May 01, 2019

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#254: Porn Star versus Prude

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, April 14, 2019



For centuries we had the Madonna - Whore polarity
, good girl versus bad girl: bad girls put out, good girls are virtuous. You fuck the whore but not your pure, chaste wife. Female sexuality was only there to serve men's sexuality: the good girls provided offspring and the bad girls provided pleasure - and never the twain would meet.

Then that ridiculous notion changed with the sexual revolution of the 1960’s and 70’s. Finally we believed that sex was good and we should like sex - hip hip hooray, sexual freedom and liberation for all!!!

But has it really changed?

I think that to a large extent we simply replaced the good girl versus bad girl split with the Porn Star versus Prude. That sexual freedom only translated into the freedom to act like a porn star: do me big boy, yeah yeah - or…nothing, zip. You’re the Prude.

Too many people think that sexual freedom means acting like a porn star, doing things for free that a high class escort would only do for serious money. Oral, anal, threesomes, moresomes. you name it, they do it, because they’re oh so cool and sexually free. (Mind you, they often have to be drugged... read more


#254: Porn Star versus Prude

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, April 14, 2019

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#253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, March 23, 2019

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#252: Non-Linear Lovemaking: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, March 09, 2019

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#246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong

Jacqueline Hellyer - Friday, December 28, 2018

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#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, December 01, 2018

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#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, December 01, 2018

 


There are some old sexual myths of men being “naturally promiscuous” to sow their seed, and women being “naturally monogamous” because it’s “natural” for a woman to be less sexual and on closer examination these myths have no basis in fact. The former because it is a misuse of evolutionary theory and the latter because it is based on historical suppression of women’s sexuality not their biological reality. (See A History of Sexual Misinformation for more on this.)

So what is real – are humans monogamous or not? Is monogamy a natural state that all humans gravitate to, or is it a social norm superimposed upon a different biological basis?

Well, it seems that monogamy is not biologically-based, it’s socially based. For an in-depth look at this issue I recommend you read the brilliant book “Sex At Dawn” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. It’s a thoroughly researched and very entertaining read. The authors look at our biology, at prehistoric remains, at our closest ape relatives, at existing and recent hunter-gatherer societies, and present a very plausible argument that we haven’t evolved to be monogamous, that the concept of “possessing” a partner exclusively is a social development, not a biological one.

This... read more


#244: Gigglegasms

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, November 17, 2018

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#242: Getting to Sex can be like Getting to the Gym

Jacqueline Hellyer - Saturday, October 20, 2018

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