Sex advice, sex tips and relationship advice

#253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”

Published Saturday, March 23, 2019

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#252: Non-Linear Love-Making: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex

Published Saturday, March 09, 2019

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#246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong

Published Friday, December 28, 2018

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#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?

Published Saturday, December 01, 2018

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#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?

Published Saturday, December 01, 2018

There are some old sexual myths of men being “naturally promiscuous” to sow their seed, and women being “naturally monogamous” because it’s “natural” for a woman to be less sexual and on closer examination these myths have no basis in fact. The former because it is a misuse of evolutionary theory and the latter because it is based on historical suppression of women’s sexuality not their biological reality. (See A History of Sexual Misinformation for more on this.)

So what is real – are humans monogamous or not? Is monogamy a natural state that all humans gravitate to, or is it a social norm superimposed upon a different biological basis?

Well, it seems that monogamy is not biologically-based, it’s socially based. For an in-depth look at this issue I recommend you read the brilliant book “Sex At Dawn” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. It’s a thoroughly researched and very entertaining read. The authors look at our biology, at prehistoric remains, at our closest ape relatives, at existing and recent hunter-gatherer societies, and present a very plausible argument that we haven’t evolved to be monogamous, that the concept of “possessing” a partner exclusively is a social development, not a biological one.

This is certainly a view that I had come to based on my own research and observations, clinical and personal; so it's good to see it reinforced by academics who have done the proper analytical research. So, if we’re not “naturally” monogamous, what does that mean for us? Should we all start hanging out at swingers clubs and inviting the neighbors over for a “casual drink”? Of course not. I’m not talking about going from one extreme to another! What I am saying is that we need to take the issue seriously, not cover it up with fear or power-based morality and narrow-mindedness.

These days we do plenty of things that we didn’t evolve to do, things that aren’t “natural” in the sense that we usually mean it - such as sitting in front of a computer. But if we stray too far from who we really are, if we go too much against our innate selves, if we start fighting our selves, then we’re in for trouble. To use the computer example, our bodies have evolved to be active, so even if we can sit in front of a computer, we shouldn’t overdo it. Overly sedentary people risk obesity, heart disease, diabetes and a whole bunch of other problems.

So, if we aren’t naturally monogamous, forcing ourselves to be monogamous is not going to work. In the past it was avoided by repressing women’s sexuality so severely that it was barely possible to be non-monogamous. But now that women don’t get stoned to death, or burned at the stake or locked up in mental institutions for being sexual, and now that women aren’t forced to stay in relationships for the sake of economic necessity, what do we find – around 50% of relationships involve infidelity (of which women contribute as much as men). And certainly very many people aren't monogamous for life, these days serial monogamy tends to be the norm, so while they might not overlap their lovers they certainly do have more than one.

I have come to think that as with so many other aspects of sexuality, we’re all on a continuum of monogamy, with some people being completely monogamous and others being completely non-monogamous, and most of us somewhere in-between. And this varies over time.

A small number of people manage to have consensual non-monogamous relationships, and that’s fine because in these cases it’s done openly, honestly and with continual reflection. Nevertheless, even for them it is challenging. All relationships are challenging.

If monogamy is your preference, the key point here is that we have to recognize that it’s not easy to be exclusive with the same person for years on end and have a satisfactory love life with that one person. You have to focus on it and work at it.

Some key points I believe we all need to take on board, whatever our preferred type of relationship is, are:

To be less judgmental of self and others around relationship preferences and inclinations;
To be more open-minded about relationship possibilities, if not for yourself, then at least with others, not everyone has to be the same as you;
To realise that becoming more aware of your own sexuality, and therefore more open, honest and real about yourself, is a very good thing for yourself and for your relationship(s);
To be more focused on creating an on-going good sex life that includes diversity and novelty.

I would love to see our society develop in a way that is more inclusive of different kinds of sexuality, including varieties of sexual relatedness. We’ve had a long struggle, which still exists, to open our minds to homosexuality. Now we need to open up to other aspects of sexuality, such as non-monogamy - as well as bisexuality, transsexuality, pansexuality, asexuality, intersexuality, kinky orientations, or any other orientation that goes against rigid definitions of ‘acceptable’ sexuality. As I say so often, as long as it’s between consenting informed adults, it’s fine.

Essentially, as a society, we need to be authentic, honest and non-judgmental.   Sounds reasonable, but it’s such a big ask in this society, especially when it’s to do with sexuality.

Still, I live and work in hope…

#244: Gigglegasms

Published Saturday, November 17, 2018

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#242: Getting to Sex can be Like Getting to the Gym

Published Saturday, October 20, 2018

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#237: How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing in Sex & Relationships

Published Sunday, July 22, 2018

Sex within intimate relationships can be an extraordinary place to grow spiritually, to deepen in love, expand conscious awareness, to feel more peace, bliss, ease. But it’s also very easy to fall into what’s called spiritual bypassing, thinking that you’re becoming more spiritual but actually doing some or all of the following:

exaggerated detachment,
emotional numbing and repression,
overemphasis on the positive,
anger-phobia,
blind or overly tolerant compassion,
weak or too porous boundaries,
lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence),
debilitating judgement about one’s negative or shadow side,
devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual, and
delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being. *

Which means you’re bypassing doing the psychological work you need to do to actually be able to develop spiritually.

I see a lot of this in my work, here are the most common examples:

Spiritual narcissists, where one partner considers themselves spiritually ‘superior’ to the other. This may be because they have studied or engaged in spiritual practices more than their partner and assume that that makes them more spiritual. In fact, this is merely an inflated ego speaking. This can manifest in small ways such as bamboozling their partner with spiritual terminology. In more serious cases the ‘superior’ partner doesn’t take personal responsibility for their part of the relationship because the ‘less developed’ one just needs to ‘grow’ for the relationship to improve, and if they have a complaint they’re just ‘projecting their own shortcomings and need to look at themselves’, because of course the superior one doesn’t have any.
In contrast to the first point, some people overly romanticise relationships, seeking a ‘soul-mate’ with whom they can have ‘perfect’ ease and harmony. This is actually fusion, which leads to avoiding issues as conflict of any sort indicates a lack of ‘perfect union’. This in turn stops real vulnerability and intimacy and leads to suppression rather than growth. If conflict aversion is combined with low self-esteem, a person might hand their personal power over to the other, which inevitably leads to control imbalance and inequality in the relationship and a whole heap of issues that stem from that.
Clients who have succumbed to sexual predators masquerading as spiritual teachers and healers:

- The worst case I’ve had was a woman who was repeatedly sexually assaulted by her guru while he was staying at her house during a visit.

- I’ve had clients who had seen so-called tantric goddesses who have traumatised their clients under the guise of sexual healing. One such case was a rather reserved man whose wife was complaining he wasn’t sensual enough. The woman did teach him some ways to breathe and embrace - then finished the session with a hand-job! This was a shock in the sudden turn from sensual to overtly sexual, and more importantly because it breached the marriage vows, causing problems for him and his relationship.

- Lots of clients who have been to spiritual and/or tantric workshops and retreats and come out traumatized by the psychologically unsafe practices, or who had a major opening without supportive follow-up to enable integration back into their lives, leaving them at best confused and at worst verging on the psychotic.

Many of my clients who have done a lot of spiritual development struggle with intimacy. In these cases, it can simply be a lack of understanding that personal growth does not necessarily equate to relationship growth, that intrapersonal development and interpersonal development are different. More often it’s because the person has mistaken emotional detachment with spiritual transcendence. Relationship requires openness and ability to be vulnerable with another, whereas spiritual bypassers hide behind a solid wall of impenetrable ‘spirituality’.
People who confuse spiritual experiences with spiritual states. Too much success-driven ego is applied to the spiritual, people seek extreme experiences, visions, body convulsions, etc. And while these can be illuminating, they are only experiences in time, not permanent shifts in awareness. In fact, seeking these experiences does nothing to truly open and expand in love with wisdom and humility.
So many people use the pleasure of sex to avoid their issues. The intensity of sex and the release of orgasm can distract from the pressures and issues that really need dealing with. They are using sex to make themselves feel better. This applies just as much, if not more so, if people are using ‘tantric’ or ‘spiritual’ sex as a cover for really looking at themselves.

Truly joyful, spiritual sexuality can’t be forced or coerced. You can’t use it to achieve a state, it is an expression of a pre-existingstate. There’s no short-cut. It requires dedication and a lot of challenging personal and relational cultivation to get there, both psychological and spiritual. Not that you ever actually get ‘there’, there’s no destination, simply ongoing focus and openness - and the potential for a lot of great loving along the way!

*This list is from Spiritual Bypassing by Robert.A. Masters - a great book if you want to read more about the topic.

#235: The Three Phases of Conscious Relationship Evolution

Published Sunday, June 24, 2018

Phase One: Two Become One

When we fall in love, there is so much newness and discovery that it’s very easy to feel like ‘two become one’, you feel you have so much in common! It’s just like the fairy-tales and you feel that you really will ‘live happily ever after’!!!

This is the ‘symbiotic’ phase of a relationship. It’s a very important part and builds a strong foundation.

Symbiosis or Fusion?

However, inevitably, you start to realise that two have not become one, two are still two. The cracks start to appear, your differences are more obvious and unsettling. I call this the ‘aargh’ phase of a relationship.

Sometimes couples split up at this phase, thinking that they’re not right for each other. That might be true, but not always.

Others pretend it’s not happening, they don’t talk about the differences. These couples tend to lose the singular pronoun and talk about ‘we’ and ‘us’ exclusively, and their relationship becomes more and more limited. They are not game to push boundaries, make suggestions, try new things, for fear of creating ‘conflict’.

Others recognise the differences, and blame the other! These are the couples that bicker all the time, caught in a web of hostility. They use the second person pronoun ‘you, you, you’ as they harangue their partner.

And some couples fall into a power play where one always acquiesces to the other. The old patriarchal model where the good wife submitted to the will of her husband, or when you hear men say "happy wife, happy life...whatever you say dear..."

None of these approaches is healthy. These couples are fused. They’ve tried to force the lovely symbiotic phase to continue, but in so doing have prevented authenticity and growth. They are stuck in co-dependance.

You can’t stay in the first phase. You have to evolve. You need to move to ‘two become two again’ and from there you can move to ‘two become three - two individuals and a couple’.

Phase Two: Differentiation - ‘two become two’

This means moving through the unsettling ‘differentiation’ phase. In this phase you drop the rose-coloured glasses and see your partner in their entirety as they really are. And they see you. This is the phase where you become experts on each other, really discover how each other ticks. You learn how your partner is different, their weaknesses, dysfunctions, and you get clearer on your own.

From there you can learn to relate to your partner in a way that works for them rather than just yourself. You jointly develop a dynamic between you that is safe and supportive when dealing with issues of difference.

You learn to simultaneously self-regulate and inter-regulate, attending to the other while managing your own emotional arousal. This is the master skill of relating!

Phase Three: The Couple Bubble - ‘two become three’

The better you master this phase the easier is to move to the ‘two become three’ phase, or as I like to think of it ‘the couple bubble’ phase. A bubble can separate into two and re-join again. That is how a good relationship is, you are both individuals and a couple. Your individuality enhances your coupledom and your coupledom enhances your individuality. You each know yourselves and your partner so well that you can self-soothe and soothe the other. You can ask for what you want, and you can give what the other wants. You create safe, secure space so you can support each other through the tough times and share the joys of the good times.

You can dip into your bubble momentarily: with a glance, a touch, a thought; or you can be in it for longer periods: a conversation, a night out, a session of lovemaking, a weekend away. This fills up your 'love bank', keeping you connected and recharged, so when you're apart you can be fabulous as an individual, you still have a sense of the 'bubble'.

When you're in this phase you feel as though you have a unique frequency that connects you, you know someone always has your back. To the outside world this phase might look like the first phase, but it's fundamentally different because you've differentiated. You've become experts on each other, you've got a secure, strong dynamic, and you continue to grow and evolve as individuals and as a couple.

To learn more about evolving as a couple, join me at one of my wonderful Couples Retreats: five days in Bali or three days in the Blue Mountains.

#227: The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex

Published Saturday, March 10, 2018

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#365: Live in the "Simmer Zone"
#364: Suggest Don't Ask
#363: Take the Pressure Off Your Penis!
#362: Don't Let Your Primitive Brain Rule Your Relationship
#361: Great Sex is Not About Speed
#360: Sexual KPIs - Key Pleasure Indicators
#359: Your Relationship is Like a Boat that Carries you through Life
#358: Talk 'Erotic' Not 'Dirty'
#357: Great Sex is Rarely Spontaneous
#356: Approaching Sex As A Spiritual Practice
#355: You're Not Alone - Sexual Struggle is Normal
#354: Let Nature Boost Your Libido
#353: Invite and Envelop
#352: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
#351: How to 'Start the Dominos Falling'
#350: Move Towards Love-Led not Lust-Led Sex
#349: The Yin & Yang of Erotic Physiology
#348: Sex Should Age Like A Fine Wine
#347: We All Need To “Come Out” To Our Unique Sexuality
#346: Burn Away the Undergrowth to Allow New Growth
#345: Don't Push a Relationship to Crisis Point, End It Sooner
#344: When It Gets Awkward in Bed
#343: It's Normal to Find Other People Attractive
#342: The Dance of Initiation
#341: We All Need A Phone Policy!
#340: What Comes Before Consent
#339: More than Sex-Positive, We Need to be Sex-Comfortable
#338: Get Off the Hedonistic Treadmill!
#337: You Can't Search for Love. It's Already There. You Can Only Remove the Barriers to Let It In
#336: How to Communicate Complaints Effectively
#335: Nurture Your Soul with Sex
#334: How to Express Your Emotions Without Being "Emotional"
#333: Q&A: We're Time Poor - How Do We Add Some Zing?
#332: Be Conscious Not Complacent
#331: It's OK to Disappoint Your Partner
#330: Moans & Groans – why sound is good in sex and how to make more
#329: Gateways to the Erotic Shift
#328: Safety is Sexy
#327: Pace Your Sexual Interactions
#326: Fly on the Wall Friday - my new Video Series
#325: When Things Get Wobbly Assume the Best and Get Curious
#324: How Alike do You Need to be to Have a Good Relationship
#323: Be "At Home" in Your Body
#322: Don't Ever Stop Kissing
#321: Consent From the Inside
#320: How to Say No Without It Feeling Like Rejection
#319: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 3: Sexual Transformation
#318: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 2: Relational Transformation
#317: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 1: Personal Transformation
#316: Take Your Partner Off A Sexual Pedestal
#315: Finesse Your Expertise on Each Other
#314: A Lingering Sense of Each Other
#313: How Do You Know When You're Having Good Sex?
#312: Conflict is Inevitable So Learn to Prevent, Manage and Repair
#311: The Bridgerton Effect
#310: Cuddle plus – an essential phase of the affection-sex continuum
#309: Moment-by-Moment Consent
#308: How To Give (and Receive) An Erotic Spanking
#307: Three Types of Sexual Communication: Chit-chat, In-the-moment and the Debrief
#306: What I Desire
#305: Lazy Sex
#304: It's Not "Needy" to Connect - It's Human!
#303: The Art of the Thrust
#302: Transformational Erotica
#301: Sex As Embodied Mindfulness Practice
#300: So Many Ways to Eat, So Many Ways to…
#299: Date Night or Date Day?
#298: Teenage Love-Making
#297: Turning Sex Lives Upside-Down - It's My Life's Work!
#296: The Sex Store in Your Pantry
#295: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
#294: Take Your Penis for a Walk!
#293: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
#292: Become a Sensual Explorer
#291: Q&A: My Wife Won't Pleasure Herself in Front of Me
#290: Subtle Shifts to Great Sex
#289: Q&A: My Husband Can't Keep an Erection, and He Smokes Lots of Marajuana
#288: Love in the Time of COVID-19
#287: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Climax from Oral Sex and I'm Worried
#286: Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
#285: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Like Kissing - what to do?
#284: Communing - deep intimate connection
#283: Q&A: We Want to Try a Threesome - how do we do it safely?
#282: On Being A Human in a Female Body
#281: Q&A: How Do We Connect After So Much Stress?
#280: Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine
#279: Q&A: My Husband Is Having An Affair and I'm Relieved
#278: Stocking Up Your Love Larder - the key to spontaneous sex
#277: Q&A: How Do I Flex My New Found Interest in Sex?
#276: Intercourse as Foreplay
#275: Q&A: Fun in the Sun - How to Have Safe Holiday Sex
#274: Bake Your Cake Before You Ice It - the foundation of great sex
#273: Q&A: Is It Normal to Want Sex Twice A Day?
#272: How Has Sex Helped You Grow - Research Participants Wanted!
#271: Q&A: How Do I Meet My Sexual Needs in a Sexless Marriage
#270: Optimal Sexuality - Reaching Your Sexual Potential
#269: Q&A: How Do I Get My Mojo Back?
#268: It's the Sum of the Small Things
#267: Q&A: How Do We Reignite Our Love Life
#266: Relationship Vitamins
#265: I See You as Lover - the importance of attention in loving well
#264: The Pleasure of A Soft Cock
#263: Make Every Stroke Count
#262: You Can Make Love With Just A Kiss
#261: Finding the 'More' - the Spiritual Dimensions of Sex
#260: How to Stay In Love
#259: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 2: How
#258: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 1: What
#257: Simple Sex is Good Sex
#256: Solo Sex: Mindful Masturbation
#255: Own the Crone
#254: Porn Star versus Prude
#253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”
#252: Non-Linear Love-Making: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex
#251: Make Your Bedroom A Sanctuary
#250: Sexy Debriefing
#249: Getting "Love Drunk"
#248: Make-Over Your Sex Life
#247: Be Real, Express Freely
#246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong
#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?
#244: Gigglegasms
#243: Evolve with the Seven Elements of Sexuality
#242: Getting to Sex can be Like Getting to the Gym
#241: Intensity Repels, Enticement Attracts. Like Chocolate Cake.
#240: Turn Yourself On and the World Turns On To You
#239: Therapy is Composting Your Sh*t
#238: Are You Flat-lining or Surfing in Life?
#237: How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing in Sex & Relationships
#236: The Clitoris is Not an On-Off Button
#235: The Three Phases of Conscious Relationship Evolution
#234: Allow Self-Indulgence
#233: Are You Relationship-Oriented?
#232: Tantra: Sex Through Non-Sex
#231: A Multitude of Orgasmic Possibilities
#230: Sink In to Sync In
#229: Penises - does size really matter?
#228: What To Do When He Can't Come
#227: The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex
#226: Merge Sex & Love Energies for Potent Connection
#225: Sex is a Normal Part of Life
#224: We Judge ‘Normal’ Sex Based on Our Own Experiences
#223: How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways...
#222: Project 'Great Sex'
#221: Beforeplay Suggestions
#220: Foreplay and Beforeplay
#219: How to Heighten Sensory Pleasure
#218: The Bedroom is for Expression, Not Suppression
#217: The Three Types of Sex All Couples Need
#216: Things that make you go 'mmm' and things that make you go 'ngh'
#215: Libido - the Interplay of Desire and Arousal
#214: The Good and Bad of Porn
#213: Bad Communication Styles - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
#212: My Journey to Becoming A Transpersonal Sexologist
#211: Seven Sex Tips for Busy People
#210: Penises Love A Soft Touch
#209: Share Before You Fix
#208: The Best Thing A Father Can Do
#207: The Exquisiteness of a Relaxed Vagina
#206: The Look of Love - Eye-Gazing
#205: Quanta of Deliciousness
#204: How to Maintain the “Mmm-Factor”
#203: How to Have 'Dirty' Sex With Someone You Love
#202: Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat
#201: Make Sex Your Hobby
#200: Partnered Sex is Not Solo Sex for Two
#199: Melting Moments
#198: Your Partner Can't Be Everything To You
#197: Sex is Good, Sleep is Better!
#196: Savour Sex
#195: How To Live A Tantric Life
#194: Be Kind - It Works
#193: How to Push Your Sexual Boundaries
#192: Good Rest=Good Sex
#191: We Need Bliss
#190: Being Sexually Receptive is Not Being Sexually Passive
#189: So Much Love
#188: A High-Quality Relationship is a High-Maintenance Relationship
#187: Sex as Spiritual Practice
#186: Playing with the Yin and Yang of Sex
#185: The Yin and Yang of Sex
#184: Third Level Love-Making
#183: Vive La Difference!
#182: What Is a Marriage Sabbatical and Why Take One?
#181: The Basic Sexual Unit is One
#180: A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration
#179: Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'
#178: Big Sex is Beautiful Sex
#177: Women Are Not 'Naturally' Monogamous
#176: Sex Therapy and Couples Retreats - What to do if you have a Reluctant Partner
#175: The Chilled Build - How to Get in the Mood for Sex
#174: Mums and Dads Need "Cuddle Time"
#173: Giving Good Head Does Not Mean Simulating A Vacuum Cleaner
#172: Is Porn Making Women Less Feminine?
#171: Is Porn Making Men Less Masculine?
#170: Rough Sex
#169: The Three Pillars of Love
#168: Seven Benefits of Attending My Couples Retreats
#167: Ban Penetration - the word, not the act!
#166: Solo Cultivation - Mindful Masturbation for Men
#165: Our Bodies Thrive on Pleasure
#164: Leela: Cosmic Play, Sexual Play
#163: Toys for Grown-Ups
#162: Backdoor Pleasures - how to enjoy anal sex
#161: The Sexual Glutton vs The Sexual Gourmet
#160: Erotic Wickedness - How to Play with Power Exchange
#159: Practice Expressing Your Feelings For Greater Connection and Better Sex
#158: Let’s Talk About Our Sex
#157: Love Your Breasts
#156: Ditch the Sex Myths
#155: Relax Into Orgasm
#154: When A Woman Is Free To Be Herself Sex Takes On A Spiritual Dimension
#153: It All Starts With A Kiss…
#152: The Ecstasy is in the Spaces In-Between
#151: Radical Honesty
#150: Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength
#149: Your New Year's Resolution - Have Better Sex
#148: Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All
#147: A Beautiful Vulva is Like A Luscious Hamburger
#146: Come From a Place of "Yes"!
#145: Finger Finesse
#144: Reluctance is Not frigidity, It’s Body Intelligence - She’s Not Ready!
#143: Tantra: The Art of Mindful Sex
#142: Love Thy Partner
#141: ‘Invitation’ not ‘Penetration’
#140: Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines
#139: Sex is the Base of Being Human
#138: Awaken Your Vagina for the Kind of Sex All Women (and their Partners) Deserve
#137: Bonking on the Right Side of the Brain
#136: Have Sex with God…
#135: So Many Boxes - So Little Freedom
#134: How to Move Forward When Your Partner Has Betrayed You
#133: The Reason Why Humans Are So Sexual
#132: Partnered Yoga - Erotic Connection
#131: Make Love Like You’re Playing An Instrument For Ultimate Sensual Pleasure
#130: How to Talk to Kids About Sex - and why you need to
#129: Inviting A Third (or fourth or more…) - the right way to play
#128: Does Size Really Matter?
#127: The Way of the Householder - how to make the everyday sublime
#126: Our Bodies Are the Best Sex Toy Ever
#125: Honour Your Genitals for Exquisite Sex - the Why and How
#124: Tango Tantra - Make Your Love Life Blissfully Connected
#123: The Yin & Yang of Sex Chemistry
#122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life
#121: Move Beyond Sleaze and Shame and Discover The Third Wave of Sexuality
#120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It
#119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage
#118: We’re All Individuals! There are Spectra of Sexuality
#117: My Book "Seven Sex Goddesses" Released!
#116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?
#115: Ten Reasons Why Married Women Have Affairs, and What To Do When She Does
#114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely
#113: Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down - how to add restraint to your sex life
#112: What’s Your Eroticism - Intimate, Wild, Fun?
#111: 10 Tips For Your Vagina
#110: When the Man Leads, the Woman Embellishes
#109: Unblock Sexual Energy for Greater Love
#108: The Sensual Dom(me)
#107: Explore Your Fantasies
#106: Dress-Ups! How to have fun with role-play.
#105: Consensual Non-Monotony
#104: Consensual Non-Monogamy
#103: Languid 69
#102: Sensual Non-Monogamy
#101: Make Love to Yourself - Mindful Masturbation for Women
#100: Celibacy, Sexuality and Spirituality
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#99: Spice Alone Tastes Terrible...
#98: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
#97: Plugging In - Sex Without Movement
#96: Growing Better With Age
#95: Teaching Tantra in Paradise
#94: Time Apart Can Be Erotic
#93: When He's Lost Interest
#92: Q&A: Why Doesn’t Porn Do It for Me?
#91: If Sex Hurts, Change What You're Doing
#90: Some Words for the Lower Desire Partner
#89: Trust Your Body
#88: Chill Out in Your Sanctuary
#87: Planning for Pleasure
#86: Make the Lead-Up Erotic
#85: Advice from Japanese Grandmothers on How to Be Beautiful
#84: If You Want A Mature Relationship You Have To Be Mature
#83: How Often Should We Have Sex?
#82: Slay the Pink Elephants!
#81: The Tantric Lounge Radio Show - Talking Sex, Science and Spirituality
#80: What Do Men Love Best About Sex?
#79: Fetishes are Fine
#78: The Awesomeness of Men Who Are Present
#77: Sex Doesn't Have to Involve the Genitals
#76: Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth
#75: An Erection Does Not Have To Be Serviced
#74: "My Ejaculation Opens the Door to Deeper Orgasm"
#73: To Come or Not To Come
#72: Know Your Sexual Rhythm
#71: Fill Up Your Self-Love Tank
#70: The Cup-of-Tea Approach to Sexual Self-Coaching
#69: Trust Means Being OK with Not Knowing
#68: Renegotiate Your Contract
#67: Breathe Together - It's Tantric Foreplay
#66: The Number One Secret to Good Sex
#65: An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away - why sex is so good for you
#64: Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra
#63: Is “Good Enough” Sex Good Enough?
#62: Observing Love
#61: There Is Always A Lower Desire Partner
#60: You Can't Find Balance, You Have To Craft It
#59: Sexual, Spiritual Business Leaders
#58: Positive Messages in 50 Shades of Grey
#57: Playing with Pleasure and Pain
#56: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - Advanced
#55: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - The Basics
#54: Three Good Reasons To Read Erotica
#53: Tantric Kink
#52: Tools for Self-Validation from a Luscious Woman
#51: How to Master the Art of Vaginal Stimulation
#50: Discover the G, A and Ohhhh-Spots
#49: The Tantric Quickie
#48: We All Need To Be Balanced in Our Masculine and Feminine Sides
#47: One Couple's "Kilimanjaro Walk" to Sexual Reconnection
#46: Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Gal
#45: The Etiquette of Observing Breasts
#44: The World is Waking to Conscious Sex
#43: Try A Little Tenderness
#42: Erotica or Sleaze
#41: A Sensual Man Makes A Great Lover
#40: Sensuality Feeds Sexuality
#39: What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Tantra Teaching?
#38: The Beauty of Conflict
#37: A Woman's Body Opens In Stages
#36: Breathe Well: Live & Love Well
#35: Phone Sex
#34: Do Your Research - It's Fun!
#33: Unconditional Love Requires Self-validation
#32: Men Need a Muse Not Just A Vagina
#31: Teaching Tantra in Thailand
#30: Being Real
#29: Twelve Benefits of Sex
#28: Communicate - Human's Can't Read Minds!
#27: True Intimacy
#26: The Core of Tantra: Real Sex
#25: Sex as Entree not Dessert
#24: Fire and Water: The Masculine and Feminine Sexual Energies
#23: High Libido Women Keep Themselves Simmering
#22: The Breadth of Sexuality & the Importance of Fun
#21: Prioritising Sex
#20: Obligation Sex is Self-Imposed Low-Level Sexual Trauma
#19: Not-So-Secret Men's Business
#18: Could We Have A Festival of Sexuality?
#17: Three Things a Whole Man Needs
#16: Valuing the Masculine
#15: Valuing the Feminine
#14: Face the Darkness to Find the Light
#13: Grow Up and Open Up Australia
#12: How Men Can Circulate Sexual Energy
#11: The Great G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Debate!
#10: Sexual Pleasure is the Great Equalizer
#9: Become a Black Belt in the Bedroom!
#8: Neuroplasticity - Moulding Your Brain for Better Sex
#7: Raise Your Sexual Energy
#6: How To Consume An Ice-Cream - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 2
#5: How To Eat A Peach - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 1
#4: Love in the Time of Chaos
#3: A History of Sexual Misinformation
#2: Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth
#1: The Birth of the LoveLife Blog - with some underlying philosophical ramblings

#365: Live in the "Simmer Zone"
#364: Suggest Don't Ask
#363: Take the Pressure Off Your Penis!
#362: Don't Let Your Primitive Brain Rule Your Relationship
#361: Great Sex is Not About Speed
#360: Sexual KPIs - Key Pleasure Indicators
#359: Your Relationship is Like a Boat that Carries you through Life
#358: Talk 'Erotic' Not 'Dirty'
#357: Great Sex is Rarely Spontaneous
#356: Approaching Sex As A Spiritual Practice
#355: You're Not Alone - Sexual Struggle is Normal
#354: Let Nature Boost Your Libido
#353: Invite and Envelop
#352: A Kiss Is Just A Kiss
#351: How to "Start the Dominos Falling"
#350: Move Towards Love-Led not Lust-Led Sex
#349: The Yin & Yang of Erotic Physiology
#348: Should Age Like A Fine Wine
#347: We All Need To “Come Out” To Our Unique Sexuality
#346: Burn Away the Undergrowth to Allow New Growth
#345: Don't Push a Relationship to Crisis Point, End It Sooner
#344: When It Gets Awkward in Bed
#343: It's Normal to Find Other People Attractive
#342: The Dance of Initiation
#341: We All Need A Phone Policy!
#340: What Comes Before Consent
#339: More than Sex-Positive, We Need to be Sex-Comfortable
#338: Get Off the Hedonistic Treadmill!
#337: You Can't Search for Love. It's Already There. You Can Only Remove the Barriers to Let It In
#336: How to Communicate Complaints Effectively
#335: Nurture Your Soul with Sex
#334: How to Express Your Emotions Without Being "Emotional"
#333: Q&A: We're Time Poor - How Do We Add Some Zing?
#332: Be Conscious Not Complacent
#331: It's Ok to Disappoint Your Partner
#330: Moans & Groans – why sound is good in sex and how to make more
#329: Gateways to the Erotic Shift
#328: Safety is Sexy
#327: Pace Your Sexual Interactions
#326: Fly on the Wall Friday - my new Video Series
#325: When Things Get Wobbly Assume the Best and Get Curious
#324: How Alike do you Need to be to Have a Good Relationship
#323: Be "At Home" in Your Body
#322: Don't Ever Stop Kissing
#321: Consent From the Inside
#320: How To Say No Without It Feeling Like Rejection
#319: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 3: Sexual Transformation
#318: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 2: Relational Transformation
#317: The Benefits of a Great Love Life Part 1: Personal Transformation
#316: Take Your Partner Off A Sexual Pedestal
#315: Finesse Your Expertise on Each Other
#314: A Lingering Sense of Each Other
#313: How Do You Know When You're Having Good Sex?
#312: Conflict is Inevitable So Learn to Prevent, Manage and Repair
#311: The Bridgerton Effect
#310: Cuddle plus – an essential phase of the affection-sex continuum
#309: Moment-by-Moment Consent
#308: How To Give (and Receive) An Erotic Spanking
#307: Three Types of Sexual Communication: Chit-chat, In-the-moment and the Debrief
#306: What I Desire
#305: Lazy Sex
#304: It's Not "Needy" to Connect - It's Human!
#303: The Art of the Thrust
#302: Transformational Erotica
#301: Sex As Embodied Mindfulness Practice
#300: So Many Ways to Eat, So Many Ways to…
#299: Date Night or Date Day?
#298: Teenage Love-Making
#297: Turning Sex Lives Upside-Down - It's My Life's Work!
#296: The Sex Store in Your Pantry
#295: Do You PIV or VEP When You Have Sex?
#294: Take Your Penis for a Walk!
#293: It's Time to Let Our Souls Catch-Up
#292: Become a Sensual Explorer
#291: Q&A: My Wife Won't Pleasure Herself in Front of Me
#290: Subtle Shifts to Great Sex
#289: Q&A: My Husband Can't Keep an Erection, and He Smokes Lots of Marajuana
#288: Love in the Time of COVID-19
#287: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Climax from Oral Sex and I'm Worried
#286: Meditate Your Way to Great Sex
#285: Q&A: My Partner Doesn't Like Kissing - what to do?
#284: Communing - deep intimate connection
#283: Q&A: We Want to Try a Threesome - how do we do it safely?
#282: On Being A Human in a Female Body
#281: Q&A: How Do We Connect After So Much Stress?
#280: Get A Life! Your Sex Drive Needs the Dopamine
#279: Q&A: My Husband Is Having An Affair and I'm Relieved
#278: Stocking Up Your Love Larder - the key to spontaneous sex
#277: Q&A: How Do I Flex My New Found Interest in Sex?
#276: Intercourse as Foreplay
#275: Q&A: Fun in the Sun - How to Have Safe Holiday Sex
#274: Bake Your Cake Before You Ice It - the foundation of great sex
#273: Q&A: Is It Normal to Want Sex Twice A Day?
#272: How Has Sex Helped You Grow - Research Participants Wanted!
#271: Q&A: How Do I Meet My Sexual Needs in a Sexless Marriage
#270: Optimal Sexuality - Reaching Your Sexual Potential
#269: Q&A: How Do I Get My Mojo Back?
#268: It's the Sum of the Small Things
#267: Q&A: How Do We Reignite Our Love Life
#266: Relationship Vitamins
#265: I See You as Lover - the importance of attention in loving well
#264: The Pleasure of A Soft Cock
#263: Make Every Stroke Count
#262: You Can Make Love With Just A Kiss
#261: Finding the 'More' - the Spiritual Dimensions of Sex
#260: How to Stay In Love
#259: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 2: How
#258: Expanding Your Sexual Play Part 1: What
#257: Simple Sex is Good Sex
#256: Solo Sex: Mindful Masturbation
#255: Own the Crone
#254: Porn Star versus Prude
#253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”
#252: Non-Linear Love-Making: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex
#251: Make Your Bedroom A Sanctuary
#250: Sexy Debriefing
#249: Getting "Love Drunk"
#248: Make-Over Your Sex Life
#247: Be Real, Express Freely
#246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong
#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?
#244: Gigglegasms
#243: Evolve with the Seven Elements of Sexuality
#242: Getting to Sex can be Like Getting to the Gym
#241: Intensity Repels, Enticement Attracts. Like Chocolate Cake.
#240: Turn Yourself On and the World Turns On To You
#239: Therapy is Composting Your Sh*t
#238: Are You Flat-lining or Surfing in Life?
#237: How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing in Sex & Relationships
#236: The Clitoris is Not an On-Off Button
#235: The Three Phases of Conscious Relationship Evolution
#234: Allow Self-Indulgence
#233: Are You Relationship-Oriented?
#232: Tantra: Sex Through Non-Sex
#231: A Multitude of Orgasmic Possibilities
#230: Sink In to Sync In
#229: Penises - does size really matter?
#228: What To Do When He Can't Come
#227: The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex
#226: Merge Sex & Love Energies for Potent Connection
#225: Sex is a Normal Part of Life
#224: We Judge ‘Normal’ Sex Based on Our Own Experiences
#223: How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways...
#222: Project 'Great Sex'
#221: Beforeplay Suggestions
#220: Foreplay and Beforeplay
#219: How to Heighten Sensory Pleasure
#218: The Bedroom is for Expression, Not Suppression
#217: The Three Types of Sex All Couples Need
#216: Things that make you go 'mmm' and things that make you go 'ngh'
#215: Libido - the Interplay of Desire and Arousal
#214: The Good and Bad of Porn
#213: Bad Communication Styles - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
#212: My Journey to Becoming A Transpersonal Sexologist
#211: Seven Sex Tips for Busy People
#210: Penises Love A Soft Touch
#209: Share Before You Fix
#208: The Best Thing A Father Can Do
#207: The Exquisiteness of a Relaxed Vagina
#206: The Look of Love - Eye-Gazing
#205: Quanta of Deliciousness
#204: How to Maintain the “Mmm-Factor”
#203: How to Have 'Dirty' Sex With Someone You Love
#202: Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat
#201: Make Sex Your Hobby
#200: Partnered Sex is Not Solo Sex for Two
#199: Melting Moments
#198: Your Partner Can't Be Everything To You
#197: Sex is Good, Sleep is Better!
#196: Savour Sex
#195: How To Live A Tantric Life
#194: Be Kind - It Works
#193: How to Push Your Sexual Boundaries
#192: Good Rest=Good Sex
#191: We Need Bliss
#190: Being Sexually Receptive is Not Being Sexually Passive
#189: So Much Love
#188: A High-Quality Relationship is a High-Maintenance Relationship
#187: Sex as Spiritual Practice
#186: Playing with the Yin and Yang of Sex
#185: The Yin and Yang of Sex
#184: Third Level Love-Making
#183: Vive La Difference!
#182: What Is a Marriage Sabbatical and Why Take One?
#181: The Basic Sexual Unit is One
#180: A Penis is for Connection, not Penetration
#179: Men Have Not Evolved to 'Sow Their Seed Widely'
#178: Big Sex is Beautiful Sex
#177: Women Are Not 'Naturally' Monogamous
#176: Sex Therapy and Couples Retreats - What to do if you have a Reluctant Partner
#175: The Chilled Build - How to Get in the Mood for Sex
#174: Mums and Dads Need "Cuddle Time"
#173: Giving Good Head Does Not Mean Simulating A Vacuum Cleaner
#172: Is Porn Making Women Less Feminine?
#171: Is Porn Making Men Less Masculine?
#170: Rough Sex
#169: The Three Pillars of Love
#168: Seven Benefits of Attending My Couples Retreats
#167: Ban Penetration - the word, not the act!
#166: Solo Cultivation - Mindful Masturbation for Men
#165: Our Bodies Thrive on Pleasure
#164: Leela: Cosmic Play, Sexual Play
#163: Toys for Grown-Ups
#162: Backdoor Pleasures - how to enjoy anal sex
#161: The Sexual Glutton vs The Sexual Gourmet
#160: Erotic Wickedness - How to Play with Power Exchange
#159: Practice Expressing Your Feelings For Greater Connection and Better Sex
#158: Let’s Talk About Our Sex
#157: Love Your Breasts
#156: Ditch the Sex Myths
#155: Relax Into Orgasm
#154: When A Woman Is Free To Be Herself Sex Takes On A Spiritual Dimension
#153: It All Starts With A Kiss…
#152: The Ecstasy is in the Spaces In-Between
#151: Radical Honesty
#150: Strength in Softness, Softness in Strength
#149: Your New Year's Resolution - Have Better Sex
#148: Peace, Pleasure and Goodwill to All
#147: A Beautiful Vulva is Like A Luscious Hamburger
#146: Come From a Place of "Yes"!
#145: Finger Finesse
#144: Reluctance is Not frigidity, It’s Body Intelligence - She’s Not Ready!
#143: Tantra: The Art of Mindful Sex
#142: Love Thy Partner
#141: ‘Invitation’ not ‘Penetration’
#140: Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines
#139: Sex is the Base of Being Human
#138: Awaken Your Vagina for the Kind of Sex All Women (and their Partners) Deserve
#137: Bonking on the Right Side of the Brain
#136: Have Sex with God…
#135: So Many Boxes - So Little Freedom
#134: How to Move Forward When Your Partner Has Betrayed You
#133: The Reason Why Humans Are So Sexual
#132: Partnered Yoga - Erotic Connection
#131: Make Love Like You’re Playing An Instrument For Ultimate Sensual Pleasure
#130: How to Talk to Kids About Sex - and why you need to
#129: Inviting A Third (or fourth or more…) - the right way to play
#128: Does Size Really Matter?
#127: The Way of the Householder - how to make the everyday sublime
#126: Our Bodies Are the Best Sex Toy Ever
#125: Honour Your Genitals for Exquisite Sex - the Why and How
#124: Tango Tantra - Make Your Love Life Blissfully Connected
#123: The Yin & Yang of Sex Chemistry
#122: DIY Porn - It’s A Fun Way to Add Spice to Your Love Life
#121: Move Beyond Sleaze and Shame and Discover The Third Wave of Sexuality
#120: Don’t Fake It Till You Make It - ‘Cause You Won’t Make It
#119: Give Your Man Absolute Pleasure...Try Prostate Massage
#118: We’re All Individuals! There are Spectra of Sexuality
#117: My Book "Seven Sex Goddesses" Released!
#116: Can Fisting Be Fabulous?
#115: Ten Reasons Why Married Women Have Affairs, and What To Do When She Does
#114: Mutual Pleasure Requires Mutual Responsibility - how to expand your sex play safely
#113: Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down - how to add restraint to your sex life
#111: 10 Tips For Your Vagina
#112: What’s Your Eroticism - Intimate, Wild, Fun?
#110: When the Man Leads, the Woman Embellishes
#109: Unblock Sexual Energy for Greater Love
#108: The Sensual Dom(me)
#107: Explore Your Fantasies
#106: Dress-Ups! How to have fun with role-play.
#105: Consensual Non-Monotony
#104: Consensual Non-Monogamy
#103: Languid 69
#102: Sensual Non-Monogamy
#101: Make Love to Yourself - Mindful Masturbation for Women
#100: Celibacy, Sexuality and Spirituality
#99: Spice Alone Tastes Terrible...
#98: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
#97: Plugging In - Sex Without Movement
#96: Growing Better With Age
#95: Teaching Tantra in Paradise
#94: Time Apart Can Be Erotic
#93: When He's Lost Interest
#92: Q&A: Why Doesn’t Porn Do It for Me?
#91: If Sex Hurts, Change What You're Doing
#90: Some Words for the Lower Desire Partner
#89: Trust Your Body
#88: Chill Out in Your Sanctuary
#87: Planning for Pleasure
#86: Make the Lead-Up Erotic
#85: Advice from Japanese Grandmothers on How to be Beautiful
#84: If You Want A Mature Relationship You Have To Be Mature
#83: How Often Should We Have Sex?
#82: Slay the Pink Elephants!
#81: The Tantric Lounge Radio Show - Talking Sex, Science and Spirituality
#80: What Do Men Love Best About Sex?
#79: Fetishes are Fine
#78: The Awesomeness of Men Who Are Present
#77: Sex Doesn't Have to Involve the Genitals
#76: Winter's a Time for Sexual Growth
#75: An Erection Does Not Have To Be Serviced
#74: "My Ejaculation Opens the Door to Deeper Orgasm"
#73: To Come or Not To Come
#72: Know Your Sexual Rhythm
#71: Fill Up Your Self-Love Tank
#70: The Cup-of-Tea Approach to Sexual Self-Coaching
#69: Trust Means Being OK with Not Knowing
#68: Renegotiate Your Contract
#67: Breathe Together - It's Tantric Foreplay
#66: The Number One Secret to Good Sex
#65: An Orgasm a Day Keeps the Doctor Away - why sex is so good for you
#64: Teaching Sex Therapists Tantra
#63: Is “Good Enough” Sex Good Enough?
#62: Observing Love
#61: There Is Always A Lower Desire Partner
#60: You Can't Find Balance, You Have To Craft It
#59: Sexual, Spiritual Business Leaders
#58: Positive Messages in 50 Shades of Grey
#57: Playing with Pleasure and Pain
#56: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - Advanced
#55: Pelvic Floor Pleasures - The Basics
#54: Three Good Reasons To Read Erotica
#53: Tantric Kink
#52: Tools for Self-Validation from a Luscious Woman
#51: How to Master the Art of Vaginal Stimulation
#50: Discover the G, A and Ohhhh-Spots
#49: The Tantric Quickie
#48: We All Need To Be Balanced in Our Masculine and Feminine Sides
#47: One Couple's "Kilimanjaro Walk" to Sexual Reconnection
#46: Feminine Receptivity and the Go-Getter Kind of Gal
#45: The Etiquette of Observing Breasts
#44: The World is Waking to Conscious Sex
#43: Try A Little Tenderness
#42: Erotica or Sleaze
#41: A Sensual Man Makes A Great Lover
#40: Sensuality Feeds Sexuality
#39: What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching and Tantra Teaching?
#38: The Beauty of Conflict
#37: A Woman's Body Opens In Stages
#36: Breathe Well: Live & Love Well
#35: Phone Sex
#34: Do Your Research - It's Fun!
#33: Unconditional Love Requires Self-validation
#32: Men Need a Muse Not Just A Vagina
#31: Teaching Tantra in Thailand
#30: Being Real
#29: Twelve Benefits of Sex
#28: Communicate - Human's Can't Read Minds!
#27: True Intimacy
#26: The Core of Tantra: Real Sex
#25: Sex as Entree not Dessert
#24: Fire and Water: The Masculine and Feminine Sexual Energies
#23: High Libido Women Keep Themselves Simmering
#22: The Breadth of Sexuality & the Importance of Fun
#21: Prioritising Sex
#20: Obligation Sex is Self-Imposed Low-Level Sexual Trauma
#19: Not-So-Secret Men's Business
#18: Could We Have A Festival of Sexuality?
#17: Three Things a Whole Man Needs
#16: Valuing the Masculine
#15: Valuing the Feminine
#14: Face the Darkness to Find the Light
#13: Grow Up and Open Up Australia
#12: How Men Can Circulate Sexual Energy
#11: The Great G-Spot & Female Ejaculation Debate!
#10: Sexual Pleasure is the Great Equalizer
#9: Become a Black Belt in the Bedroom!
#8: Neuroplasticity - Moulding Your Brain for Better Sex
#7: Raise Your Sexual Energy
#6: How To Consume An Ice-Cream - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 2
#5: How To Eat A Peach - Lose Yourself in Pleasure Pt 1
#4: Love in the Time of Chaos
#3: A History of Sexual Misinformation
#2: Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth
#1: The Birth of the LoveLife Blog - with some underlying philosophical ramblings

Episode 3:12 Broadening Your Sexual Repertoire
Episode 3.11: Female Orgasmicness and the New Sexual Revolution
Episode 3:10: All Tied Up in the Japanese Art of Bondage
Episode 3.9: Meet the Seven Goddesses of Sex
Episode 3:8 Sex in the Time of Menopause
Episode 3:7 Sexological Bodywork
Episode 3:6 Sound Intimacy
Episode 3:5 A Mature Woman’s Sexual Mission
Episode 3:4 The Future of Sex
Episode 3:3 The Anatomy of Sex
Episode 3:2 The Urge to Merge
Episode 3:1 The Way of Surrender
Episode 2:13 Sexual Etiquette
Episode 2:12 Retreating With Luscious Women
Episode 2:11 Tantric Dominance and Submission
Episode 2:10 Unleashing the Primitive
Episode 2:9 Turn Your Whole Body Into An Erogenous Zone
Episode 2:8 Make Sex Your Hobby
Episode 2:7 The Magic of Mystique
Episode 2:6 Tantric Development for Men
Episode 2:5 Cathecting the Divine
Episode 2:4 Riding the Tantric Wave
Episode 2:3 Bringing Kids Up Sex Positive
Episode 2:2 Living La Vida Tantrika
Episode 2:1 Tantric Myth-Busting
Episode 1:13 Beforeplay
Episode 1:12 The Sex Brain
Episode 1:11 Therapy With A Twist of Tantra
Episode 1:10 Great Sex? Release the Goddess Within!
Episode 1:9 Secret Women’s Business
Episode 1:8 The Tantric Lounge Live
Episode 1:7 Black Belt in the Bedroom
Episode 1:6 Secret Men’s Business
Episode 1:5 Why Humans Are So Sexy
Episode 1:4 Vive La Difference!
Episode 1:3 Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth
Episode 1:2 Myth Busting
Episode 1:1 Getting to Know Jacqueline

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Testimonials

"Now we understand why you wanted us to attend one of your retreats. We learnt so much from you in private sessions, but doing your couples retreat has really taken us so much further and deeper. It’s been absolutely wonderful, far more transformative than we could ever have imagined."

"I never thought I’d lose my libido - but I did! Who’d have thought one little baby could be so exhausting! Your book made so much sense - it explained why I was feeling this way, why my partner was feeling this way, and what we could do about it."

"I wish we’d had this book when our first bub was born. But better late than never, it’s been a great help second time around!"

"We used to fight constantly about sex, I never thought we'd find a way out. Then we found you and that's all changed. You're awesome!"

"We LOVED the retreat. You created a safe, adult, sexy space where we could be honest and open, exploring ourselves and the connection that exists in really different ways than we've ever been able to in the past. Your rich and sensitive holding of the spiritual side, and ease of its emergence as sexual energy - an energy to draw the other in and connect with - was really a gift and a beautiful model to offer. "

"The opening up to my own sexuality and what it means for us as a couple has been way beyond my expectations. I’ve felt safe and loved the sense of playfulness and the choices we’ve had whether or how to participate. I go away hugely enriched."

"This book has changed our lives. It’s all good practical common-sense - and it works!"

"I feel far more comfortable with myself and have a willingness to explore and grow in this rather new area of my life - how exciting."

"I don't think it is over-stating to say that I would call the course 'life changing'. In essence I believe it has been a major catalyst in deep healing, a fundamental shift in personal and spiritual growth, and lasting and evolving change in self confidence, body awareness, self acceptance and ongoing sexual exploration."

"I've just read your new book and I just want to say it is FABULOUS!! I'm so glad you wrote it and it is such a special and beautiful work I can't put it down!"

"Luscious Woman was so useful and very much applies to the modern lush woman who wants to feel and be even more empowered!"

"It's not a course, it's an awakening. It opens your eyes to what's possible as a couple."

"This book is beautifully clear and succinct, a real treasure."

"Thank you for your warm vibrant energy, enthusiasm and passion. You've given a recently fatigued man the tools to recover his mojo."

"You've changed the whole way I look at sex, now I feel so much more positive and free and empowered!"

"It’s made us realise how important it is to always be there for each other, to prioritise us, even though it’s so easy to be distracted."

"I'm so happy with ME, where I am and where we are as a couple. This is where I've been trying to get for so long and now I'm here! Thanks - you're the best!"

"Thank you for a wonderful retreat. All the things we were worried about turned out to be no concern at all and all the things we were looking forward to turned out to be much better than we dreamed! We are still buzzing from the experience. "

"Taking Black Belt completely revolutionized my thinking about sex and has had a long lasting positive influence on my sex life."

"Before meeting Jacqueline we were fumbling around in the dark, I couldn’t go the distance and this left my beloved underwhelmed. We were caught in the daily grind, were sexually frustrated and wanting a more satisfying experience. Since Jacqueline’s sex coaching our lovemaking has become light-hearted, our lives filled with romance, dating, petting, smooches. When we make love the time is intimate, fun, erotic, orgasmic and/or all of the above. We’ve never been happier, whole or as complete – and can’t thank you enough."

"It feels like I am taking possession of my 'goddesshood'! As a consequence I find that I am now confident and settled and calm with my husband and I can move between the goddesses, giving and receiving as the dance feels right. It's quite glorious, we're loving it. There is so much more I could say - I am so grateful and joyous! Thank you so much for your dedication, commitment, honesty and love."

"I've seen so many therapists but you're amazing! I come out of each session so much more self-aware and enlightened."

"Thank you for teaching me how to treat my wife (with numerous chronic illnesses) in a spirit of compassion while opening up a multitude of possibilities for both of us to experience giving and receiving."

"Love your work. You’re speaking the language and have a super in-depth understanding which I respect!"

"I have had a really lovely shift and have felt subtle changes in my approach to myself and body. "

"I enjoyed doing this course immensely. The content is spot on and you rightly focus on the 'being' rather than the 'doing'. "

"This course has, after 29yrs of adolescent masturbatory style sex, been HUGE with some major penny-drops. I love your approach!"

"Thanks again for your brilliant life-changing support. "

"You have such a fabulous gift for taking all the awkwardness out of sexuality and turning it into such a lovely and beautiful thing to embrace. "

"Thank you for the weekend retreat - I greatly enjoyed and learned a lot at it. Your combination of spirituality and philosophy meeting is an inspiration."

"Thank-you for creating a safe space for us all to learn, grow and share. Absolutely essential for all women who want to thrive, not just survive."

"I really enjoyed all the loving energy in the room. I've certainly never experienced anything like it before. "

"I am personally so grateful for participating in Saturday's Tantric Lounge, connecting with a group of people with beautiful, fertile rich energy."

"Sex was just off the agenda and we’d lost connection. We couldn’t recommend this book more. It really will help"

"We weren’t in a very good place. Reading Jacqueline’s book together made the world of difference and we’re stronger for it"

"I have to tell you that this experience has been life changing for me, and your wonderful loving work in helping us let go and come into ourselves made this life change such a warm comfortable natural process, that I can hardly remember what it was like before."

"The Tantric Lounge has surpassed any expectations I had of attending such an event and I find myself feeling exhilarated from the experience to a whole new degree after each session."

"Your Tantra workshops are fundamental to the health and sustainability of all relationships, regardless. In this faster than ever paced world, over stimulated and titillated, and where choice and everything-can-be-had as a retail experience is omnipresent, your guidance is like a light through the darkness..."

"We want to thank you so very much for the most wonderful week in paradise, both literally and metaphorically. Having been to your workshops previously we knew for sure that we were in for a week of lusciousness, but our week with you in Bali was more gloriously luscious and inspiring than we could have imagined."

"Thanks so much for a life changing five days! We were truly impacted and challenged beyond our expectations so thank you."

"I really enjoyed this book. It contains some great concepts that I’ve really been able to put into practice."

"A really powerful, transformative experience. I feel I have reclaimed something precious and essential."

"You’ve really helped me tap into something wonderful and powerful. I’ve discovered where I was letting myself down and have been enjoying 'filling in the blanks’."

"I never expected the Luscious Woman Workshop to have such a dramatic change on how I view myself and how I now feel sexy, feminine and graceful. I've never said those words about myself before!"

"The couples retreat is something every couple should do if they can. The course is refreshing, inspiring and gave our relationship a fun tool set to set us up for a joyful life together. It’s not just about sex (though that stuff was great), it debunks myths and starts a conversation that changed our relationship - definitely for the better. Jacqueline has a gift to make everyone feel comfortable. Don’t wait until there is a ‘problem’ - all relationships can be improved. Would recommend to all couples!"

"It is beautiful how each activity builds on the previous one like blocks, so that by the end of the evening we are engaging in the most divine magical experiences that we could never have got to otherwise!"

"Working on the solution instead of the problem has taken me further forward then anything else I have tried."

"I thought this retreat would expand our sex life, but it didn’t so much expand as turn our sex life upside down! I’m now seeing the world with a new, exciting, slightly bewildering new light!"

"You’re the first of many counsellors who really feels comfortable and is coming from a practical, understandable place. You've helped us find the key and it's really quite simple."

"Since Black Belt my partner has said that our sex life has turned 180 degrees, and that you are a miracle worker !"

"We will always remember the weekend, we discovered so much together and shall keep learning with each other with the skills gained for a long time to come. Thank you for such a great experience."

"It was a really powerful, transformative experience. I feel I have reclaimed something precious and essential with the help of a group of loving, supportive women. It made me appreciate how much healing we can do as women when we come together and share our experiences."

"Jacqueline, you are so extraordinarily professional. I’ve done a lot of courses in this area and yours are so far above the rest in terms of content and presentation."

"Your book made me realise not only what I’d lost, but how to regain it. I’m loving getting in touch with the goddesses in all parts of my life - including sexually!"

"It’s been so good to find a book that tells us how to look after ourselves - not only how to look after the baby."

"It's been a deep, profound and subtle spiritual liberation. It's given me the freedom and empowerment to open up and allow myself to feel and to express how I feel, in every way. This feeling of liberation and love and power and openness pervades my whole life and how I live now, and I can see the effect it has on others too and how they respond to me. It's very subtle, but soooo powerful and wonderful. It feels like it is radiating out from the very core of my being and is an all encompassing love, so, very much including, but not just about, my sexual being."

"We've just spent a wonderful weekend with Jacqueline. Her workshops are fun, informative, sensual, and in many ways deeply profound - the weekend brought us closer in ways we could never have imagined. Thank-you for filling up our love bank!"

"It was all about rediscovering and embracing being a woman, and everything that surrounds that."

"Thank you for the wonderful Tantric Lounge session, we really enjoyed it. You are a very good facilitator, and an absolute expert in this area of life and love."

"We really love coming to see you, as you offer us such support and have made a huge difference to our lives."

"Your workshops are so fun, connective and amazing, just a joy to participate in. You definitely have great skills in putting together a very cool experience for people."

"Luscious Woman has truly shifted my thinking, my life and me, in a wonderful direction. Thank you so much Jacqueline."

"I really got what it means to come into my masculine sexual energy, with strength and confidence and no macho or aggression. Feels great! (And my wife is beaming!)"

"I feel an enormous sense of relief that we have a platform to communicate about intimacy and sex in an open respectful and adult way."

"A huge thank you with all my heart for the unique and beautiful experience that you created for all of us on the weekend. It was such a magnificent experience and I am amazed at how much the Luscious Woman weekend boosted my confidence, I feel fantastic. What you give to others is such a beautiful gift you’re an inspiration to everyone around you."

"My sessions with Jacqueline were like a great conversation with a very wise sister/friend. She helped me through the end of my 25 year marriage with compassion and insight, giving me perspective, coping skills and a gentle push where required. I’m so grateful to have had her wise counsel."

"Thank-you for for so skillfully weaving my sexuality and spirituality back together. I now feel the way I’ve always wanted to feel."

"I felt so useless and alone after I had my baby, and forcing myself to have sex with my husband made it worse. This book has helped me see in little ways how I can enjoy being a mother and a wife - which means I can enjoy being me! Thank-you."

"Thanks so much for a life changing weekend. I honestly mean it! I feel like a completely different person!!!!!"

"Seeing Jacqueline has been by far one of the best decisions we have made. Before seeking her help I was very sad about our situation. I am so happy to say that as a direct result of her thoughtful guidance we are in such a different and better place in our sex life."

"This weekend has been so much more than we expected. Solidifying in a way we didn’t anticipate. It has opened our eyes to even more possibilities."

"Thank-you for so deliciously weaving my sexually and spiritually together again, I now feel the way I’ve always wanted and known I could feel."

"We have noticed a real shift in our energies towards each other since seeing you, almost like switching from AM to FM radio, the difference is that noticeable."

"I just am finishing the Luscious Woman course. It has been such an inspiring course and you have such a fabulous gift for taking all the awkwardness out of sexuality and turning it into such a lovely and beautiful thing to embrace. My husband is the doing the black belt in the bedroom course as well and its been so amazing watching him develop into the soft, loving and passionate man I knew he could be. We are so grateful for your course, your passion and wish everyone who wants to expand their sexual understand could know about this course. "

"The videos were beautifully engaging. You've condensed the essence of being a lover from the male perspective into an easy to follow course and I can only wish I had discovered this course ages ago and saved myself 15 years of trial & error with my wife! "

"We loved that this book is about simple fundamentals, not superficial tips and tricks."

"Loved this book - it was made for busy people like us. Thank-you for guiding and inspiring us!"

"A massive thank you for all your guidance and wisdom. Your sex therapy played a very significant role in changing our lives forever."

"Your program also seriously helped me understand my own male sexuality so much better. A big thank you for helping me with what I needed to hear! It is so awesome what you do, it is life changing for us on this end, and you are such a natural!"

"What do I say to you for taking me on a magical adventure of discovery yet again? My most heartfelt thanks for an incredible Saturday night at The Tantric Lounge."

"We had a fabulous time at the retreat. The surroundings, the people, and the teachings were all a blessing. It has taught us to explore new horizons in our love relationship and has brought our connection closer. We will be using all the techniques in the time to come as our sex life develops and improves. In fact, the results have been almost instantaneous!"

"Thanks so much for a life changing 5 days! We were truly impacted and challenged beyond our expectations so thank you."

"Hol-ee f@ck you can write, Bravo!!! ;) I've been reading your things for years, but the Goddesses are tying it all together so exquisitely. Thank-you, and Wow! "

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The LoveLife Blog the art & science of sex

Sex advice, sex tips and relationship advice

#253: “When One is Pretending, the Whole Body Revolts”

#252: Non-Linear Love-Making: the "Picnic" Approach to Sex

#246: The Fairy Tales Got It Wrong

#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?

#245: Are Humans Naturally Monogamous - and if not, what does that mean?

#244: Gigglegasms

#242: Getting to Sex can be Like Getting to the Gym

#237: How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing in Sex & Relationships

#235: The Three Phases of Conscious Relationship Evolution

#227: The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex

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