For centuries we had sex as ‘shame’. Sex was seen as an unfortunate necessity to propagate the species.
Good women weren’t interested, and men had their needs. Truly spiritual people abstained. No-one spoke about it, no-one studied it, only the very lucky or particularly diligent got to experience quality sex.
Then the pendulum swung completely the other way and for the last few decades we’ve had sex as sleaze. Now everyone’s supposed to be into it, gagging for it even, open to anything and everything and having mind-blowing experiences every time.
The first stage was outrageously prudish, which wasn’t good for anyone. The second stage has been outrageously permissive, which hasn’t been a whole lot better. It’s time for a third wave of sexuality. Beyond shame, beyond sleaze, it’s time for meaningful sex.
I’ve noticed over the past eight years or so that I’ve been specialising in sex, that there has been a shift. People are saying to me: “There’s got to be more to this sex thing.”
And they’re right. There’s a hell of a lot more to sex. Good sex, real sex, is empowering, uplifting, reviving, life enhancing.
What makes sex is meaningful is not what you do but how you do it.
What you do will depend on your personal sexual... read more